During one of his increasingly frequent melancholic episodes in which he mourned his turning 40 and thereby his lost youth, Hector experienced a vision. Before his eyes appeared a spirit who resembled Monica, the angel on his favorite TV program. "Can you help me with my problem?" Hector asked. "Yes!" Monica said. "To become young again, drink the contents of this bottle. If you decide you don't like being young again, then drink the contents of this cup," she said before vanishing.

Hector eagerly drank the bottle, and the results were instantaneous. Like being in an express elevator, Hector shrunk downward, ending up an infant entangled in his clothing. His wife Emily appeared and shrieked, "You've become a baby." Grabbing him out of his clothing, Emily took Hector to the emergency room of the nearest hospital. She was referred to staff pediatrician. "What's wrong with him?" Emily yelled. "Nothing, ma'am. He's a perfectly healthy 1-year-old boy," said the pediatrician, who handed Emily the customary trial-size package of Huggies disposable diapers.

Emily made a quick call on her cell phone, then encased Hector's rump in one of the diapers before slowly walking him home. Hector found things slightly different at home. Emily had called her sister, and she had installed in the home a crib, highchair, two baby toys, and other things a baby might need. The sister handed a freshly warmed bottle of formula to Emily, who plugged the nipple into Hector's mouth. Unable to squirm out of Emily's grip, Hector found he had no alternative but to suck the bottle dry. Rendered groggy by the formula, Hector was tucked into his crib for a nap.

Awaking two hours later, an unnerved Hector climbed out of the crib, found the cup Monica left behind, and guzzled it down. "Tastes like strawberry/rhubarb juice cocktail," Hector thought. Unfortunately, the content of the cup was strawberry/rhubarb juice cocktail, and its purgative effect was immediate, leaving Emily with an extremely messy diaper to change.

While on the changing table, Hector again saw Monica appear. "You turned me into a baby and provided no way for me to grow back. You were always such a helpful, competent guardian angel. What went wrong?" Hector whined. "There's a huge difference between television and reality," Monica sighed as she disappeared forever.


Click here to go back to previous page