Monologue by Mindy Taylor (age 28), recorded November 21, 2002:
"As you might well be aware, the job market is tight. But it is horrendous for a fashion model whose best years can best be observed in a rear-view mirror. So I was grateful to get an offer to play a young mother in some TV ads for a department store chain. But to score, I had to beat out my archrival Magdalene.
"Although we are the same age, Magdalene has long made it her life's goal to steal fashion gigs from me. 'Can I help it I look younger and sexier than you,' she's chuckled when she'd win. But she'd disappear when I'd win. As I really needed this job doing the TV ads to reestablish my career, I wished Magdalene would disappear sooner. And I knew a way to accomplish that.
"Some years ago, I met by chance an old Gypsy woman who offered me a youth wash. 'Works by being absorbed into skin. But quickly takes off 25 years of aging. No use until you past 50,' the Gypsy advised. So I found that jar of youth wash, poured it into another bottle labeled face beauty lotion, and made a point of seeing Magdalene at the agency just before the audition.
"Magdalene was in prime form. She bragged how she'd blow me away and win the roll. But if I were a good sport, she'd recommend me for a bit part as her mother in future ads. While Magdalene blustered, I slipped the faux beauty lotion into her makeup case.
"Of course, Magdalene was a no-show when her time to audition came. I won the role at the TV mother, and was asked if I'd stick around to do some dress rehearsals with some of the little girls vying for the role as my TV daughter. Dressed in a cute but modest two-piece swimsuit, they brought out the first of the girls. I almost laughed out loud. It was Magdalene, now only a 3-year-old, her hair combed out into a childish style, and dressed in an unbecoming (to her) girls bathing suit. They even had her holding a sippy cup.
"Magdalene looked up at me, a scowl on her face. 'Say
your line,' the director advised her. 'I hate you!' Magdalene
growled in a high-pitched whine; a line that the director's face
indicated was not what was in the script. And then Magdalene popped
the lid off her sippy cup and splashed me with the remaining youth
wash she had not used."