Roger Simmons was known as the ultimate cheapskate. Unfortunately, his wife, Patty, wasn't. Patty was by no means frivolous with her spending, but she (and probably nobody this side of the Unibomber) was frugal enough for Roger.
So after four years of marriage, Patty was floored when Roger agreed to a mini-vacation. But like everything with Roger, there were some strings attached.
Roger offered Patty a day trip to Disneyland, but then nearly choked over the ticket prices. Adults were $44 and everyone ten and older was an adult to the folks at Disney. Even taking advantage of his employer's special group deal (Adult tickets at kid's price - $32) Roger was aghast. So he only bought one of those tickets.
The only way to beat the system was to be under three, which was free. So rather than $32, Roger stopped at a mysterious disappearing mall shop and purchased a $10 bottle of Watkins Age Reducing Tonic. He even talked the mysterious shopkeeper into throwing in a bottle of the antidote for free.
A stop at the thrift store bought a serviceable used outfit for $7, shoes included. And Roger was even able to pick up a used booster seat at a garage sale for $5.
On the morning of their trip, Roger gave Patty a dose of the Watkins Tonic, dressed Patty and buckled her into the car seat for the ride. After one small blow-up over the $7 parking fee, they made it inside Disneyland with their one ticket.
"Change me back," Patty ordered after they were past the entrance.
"Let's try one ride first," Roger suggested, and so grudgingly, Patty trudged off with Roger to Pirates of the Caribbean.
Main Street seemed a lot longer to Patty's little legs, but Roger was right, Patty admitted to herself. The drops seemed a lot longer and the pirates seemed a lot more real to her in her current state. When they left the ride, they stopped in New Orleans Square to listen to a Dixieland band, and Patty found herself unconsciously dancing to the music.
Catching herself, Patty again asked Roger for the backpack with her change of clothes so she could go to the rest room and take the antidote.
Roger sat Patty down on his lap and talked to her. "Honey," he said, "I've been doing some calculating, and I think I've come up with a way to save us a lot of money. First off, food here is really expensive. But if you stay your present size, I can get you mini corn dogs, fries and a soda in a kid's meal for $3.99."
"And on the topic of clothes," he continued, "that thrift store has plenty of 2T outfits that look brand new for around $2. You can't get any item of clothing for your adult size for that price.. So I've decided to keep you this way for a while."
"But I don't wanna be wittle," Patty squealed. "I can't even get you wet on Spwash Mountain 'cause I'm to wittle to go on it."
"Well, I'm sorry but you'll have to get used to this because the savings are just too great to change you back," Roger told her. Besides, I returned the antidote I got for free to a different mysterious mall shop and got $5."
Patty began crying when she realized her change was permanent. Then she hatched a plan to show Roger the inconvenience of his plan. If she couldn't get him wet on Splash Mountain, she'd get him wet another way. So she wet her panties and Rogers lap.
But Roger took it in stride, opening the backpack and producing a disposable diaper. Putting the diaper on her, Roger told her, "You know these diapers can be had for less than $10 a week. You spent more than that every week in Victoria's Secret."
And so resigned to her fate, Patty toddled off holding Roger by the hand. I'm gonna take him on It's a Small World a zillion times until that song makes his ears bleed, she thought.