At first there is nothing. I do not exist.

My first measurable point of existence is as a point. A dot on the blank page. I don't remember much about this time in my life, it was so brief and my brain was nonexistent. The point slowly becomes a series of points, in other words a line. Then the Creator has a flash of brilliance and the one line becomes a bunch of lines and for the first time I am...I am...I am...what? What am I? A little person. No. That's not quite right. A child? No. That's not it either, to far advanced. A ba..a baaaa..a baby! That's it. The Creator has decided to make me a baby. But why? What purpose will I serve in the cartoon world? Am I to serve as background, only there to flesh out a family? Or will I be the precocious baby who's smarter than everyone around him and who thinks big thoughts? Am I the comic foil to a cartoon dog? I don't know anything, after all I'm only a baby.

Oh no! The eraser! The Creator is going to wipe me out! (erase erase brush brush) Whew! I'm being added to.(scribble) Straighter hair. Taller. I'm a kid. Now what? I still don't know anything. HEY!YOU! Tell me what's going on? Oh no not the eraser again! (erase brush)(scribble) A tie? What am I now some sort of teenage nerd? That's not me, that's not the sort of guy I am. Don't you even understand who you've created?

(scribble scribble scribble)

More changes? Would you please make up your mind, already. You've taken me from diapers to early adulthood before I've even had a chance to live. Give me a break huh? (erase) Why are you making my nose so big? What is my purpose now? Bumbling but lovable husband and father? Annoying neighbor? Favorite Uncle? Who am I, you've taken my identity, before I really ever had one. (scribble scribble scribble)

Hey! Who am I Dumbo, with these big ears? What am I supposed to do, fly around the strip sniffing out crime with my big nose? Oh Creator, why do you forsake me?

(scribble scribble scribble scribble)

I feel so old and tired. I'm all bent over. My beard heavy and scraggly. My hair's back to the way it was at the beginning, just one curly-Q on top. The Creator has made me old and now I am to tired to think about my existence anymore. I just want to rest. To have a good nap. Will I be left alone now? Hey Big Guy! Leave me alone you bastard! You dog turd! Who needs ya anyway? Not me, I reject You and everything you stand for! That's right I don't believe in you anymore. You don't exist ,in fact I don't think you ever existed. You're a fake a lie a fairy tale made up to scare little cartoon children. You suck, you @#&*!@!%. (erase erase)

Hey, what's going on? (erase erase erase) Why is it getting dark? (erase erase erase) Nooooooooooo........I didn't get to live.... (brush brush brush)


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