Do you know what it's like being two years old? Most of the time it's pretty nice. I know. Until three days ago I was a two-year-old. I mean when you're two, people still take care of all your needs. Anytime I was hungry. Bam! Someone got me food. If I was tired I could fall sleep almost wherever I was and I always woke up safe and comfy in my crib or carseat or someone's lap later on. And here's the best part, at least I think it's the best part now. No running back and forth to the bathroom! I never had to worry 'bout making it or where the nearest one was or is there toilet paper or any 'a dat kinda stuff! I didn't think much about it at all. When I had to pee-pee and poopie I just did, right in my dydees. I just kept on doing whatever I was doing and let someone else change my messy pants.

But there were some bad parts too, like I was too short to reach the fun stuff, but just tall enough to know it was there. I could talk. But I still cried a lot 'cause stuff made me angry and frustated and I didn't know how to talk the right words to make the big people understand what was wrong.

I had all of this energy and enthusiasm, I usually wanted to do everything all at once. All the big people do is slow you down. They stop you from doing everything you want to do. Like running around nakie through the house or seeing if the dog likes ice-cream and pinching your bratty cousin 'cause she took away your fav'rite bestest friend: Mr. Humpy. Or staying up past your beddy time and hanging out with your big sister and her friends. Or...or..

That was the worst part of all. My big sis was so mean to me. She would never do anything with me, like play or hang out. She usually just shoved me aside calling me mean names. Like smelly pants or bratmobile or diaper-face or shorty or dingleroofus or.... she had a lot of bad names she called me, never the same one twice. It made me cry, which made her run away and tell Mommy. I just wanted to be her friend. I love her and looked up to her, but 'cause I was only two and she was so much bigger 'an grown-up at ten. She hated me.

Why else would she be so mean? I just wanted to play with her.

So, I made her as small as I was and made me as big as she was before. You can find anything on the 'puter. Now, she'll know how horrible it is to just want a big sis to play with and to be called mean names and be left behind. I hope she learns her lesson soon. I don't wanna be mean to her 'cause I love her too much. 'sides I miss being the baby.


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