Monologue by Joana Kozinski (was age 42, now age 8), recorded November 14, 2001:

"What's this, Karol? Why are you laughing so snidely at me? Oh, I see. Out of all those ancient artifacts we stole from the museum, you have found the mystical age altering gemstone and are using it on me. Oh my! I hoped you would have used that stone to turn me back into the beautiful and delectable woman I was at age 20. But you have taken me further back. Age 8? Oh my!

"You know, I always suspected that after we pulled off the robbery, that you'd run off and leave me flat. But not quite this way. Oh? How do I like losing my curvy body for a girl's? Eh! I never really cared for bras. Too much work to fasten, but necessary to keep sex-starved guards from concentrating on their real job. Honestly, Karol, you should know that beauty comes not from appearance, but from within. But in my case, I'm now extremely cute, don't you think?

"Karol, you must stop braying. I know you are very pleased with yourself for what you just did to me with the stone, but I cannot understand what you're saying between the guffaws. Oh? You are going to drop me off at a police station as a lost girl. Honestly, Karol, aren't you afraid I'll rat on you? The police wouldn't believe what a little girl says? Good point, Karol. So while they look for my Mommy, you'll make off with all the artifacts we stole, and not share the millions of dollars you'll get selling them with anyone else.

"I applaud you, Karol. And laugh back at you. You forget I hid the artifacts. I alone know where they are. Without me at any age, you'll never find them. But also, look back at that age altering gemstone. The stone doesn't eliminate age. It transfers it. While you were busy reducing me from age 42 to 8, you didn't notice that my years were being transferred to you. You went from age 46 to 80. Yes, Karol. Look in the mirror. See the wrinkled, frail little man staring back at you? Well, Karol? What do you think? Karol?

"Karol! Karol!!! Oh my gosh, you're clutching you're chest. A heart attack? The sight was too much for a man you're age. Karol? Oh my! You're gone.

"Oh well, I didn't want to share the booty with you either. It's all mine now, and at age 8, I have many more years to enjoy the proceeds from the artifacts' sale. Before I call Mr. Wong, the collector, I'll pull that scrap of paper from the inner pocket in my bathing suit bottom, on which I wrote the shed number and address of that self-service storage warehouse where I stowed the artifacts. Let's see. What? Dammit! When Karol used the gemstone to reduce my age, it also shrank my clothes and the paper. Everything on it is so shrunk and distorted I cannot read it. Think Joana. Think! Where? MOMMY!!!"

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