Monologue by Christine Corker (was age 23, now age 5), recorded December 5, 2001:

"It was so embarrassing! There I was, performing as a showgirl in a Las Vegas revue in one of the larger hotel/casinos, when I began to grow younger. I'm not sure why it happened. I'm not even sure if 'grow' is the proper term. 'Shrink' doesn't sound right, and I doubt that there is such as a word as 'ungrow.'

"I didn't notice what was happening at first. Neither did the audience, as some of my fellow dancers are as young as 18. But I soon slipped into my mid-teens. Because of my shortening legs, I got out of step with the others. I felt my clothing began to shift and droop. And then I stumbled out of my now loose-fitting shoes with 3-inch heels. This set off a chain reaction that concluded with me losing that high bejeweled headdress I was wearing. And my efforts to save it resulted in me almost knocking down the dancers next to me, losing my bra top, and landing on my derriere (yes, I know words like that; let's not wallow in showgirl clichés)!

"Mad at myself, I looked down and saw my 40Ds had flattened to a state not viewed since I was 12. Worse, I was now way too small for what was left of my costume; my fishnet hose extending beyond my toes. From my seated position on the stage, I looked out at the audience, with those still somewhat sober staring in disbelief. The other showgirls had more shocked looks on their faces. Profoundly embarrassed, tears welled in my eyes until I could no longer stand the situation I had fallen into. Grabbing the bikini pants part of my costume for modesty, I jumped to my feet and dashed off stage. The last I heard was the nervous MC adlibbing 'all part of the show, folks!'

"As I dashed through the dressing room, I stopped only briefly to catch my appearance in a mirror. I now resembled a little girl who had gotten into her mommy's makeup drawer and overdid it. A child made up to look like a brassy Las Vegas showgirl; which of course I was as an adult woman! I fled the scene in terror. Darting through the hotel/casino, I raised hardly a comment as I caromed through the losers' buffet line, past scores of slot machines whose users were too mesmerized by the flashing graphics, before plowing into a gent stepping back from the roulette wheel. 'Come to bring me luck?' he grinned as he picked me up and placed me on the side of the table before betting 23 black. Realizing the state of undress I was in, I hopped away before the wheel stopped, hearing only 'the gentleman loses.'

Searching for clothing my new size and age, I finally ducked into a room next to an auditorium. And I spotted a change of little girl's clothing. The overly frilly panties fit perfectly. So I also donned the equally frilly petticoat and a bright yellow dress. I was interrupted by a matronly woman who hurriedly announced, 'Hey, you're supposed to be on stage,' as she attached a flower to my hair. Pushed out on stage, I found myself with nearly two-dozen other little girls my size, wearing equally frilly duds and more makeup than Emmett Kelly! 'Junior showgirls,' I thought.

"After walking up and down the stage and a catwalk (not wanting to appear out of place), I stood in a line as a man announced, 'And the winner is...' To my surprise, they handed me a trophy and a check. It seems that I had stumbled into the Little Miss Vegas Beauty Pageant, and inadvertently competed in the 5-year-old's division. Better still, the check was for $30,000, more than I'd earn in a year as a showgirl.

"As I said, I'm not sure why I suddenly ungrew. But to whoever did it to me, Thanks! I now have a more lucrative career on the Little Girl's Beauty Pageant circuit!


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