Leo Grubbs had the perfect plan to knock off the Safety Deposit Box section of the Merchants National Bank, which was patronized by all the richest people in town. He would take a dose of an experimental youth drug he had secured through the underground, reduce to the size of a baby, becoming small enough to crawl through the air conditioning ducts into the deposit box room at night. He would then rifle all the drawers. After making his escape with the swag, he would take the antidote and grow back to normal. As long as he took the antidote within five days, he would retain his adult intelligence.
Recruited to assist in the caper was Leo's wife Stella. She watched as Leo took the dose of youth elixir, giggling at the sight of her 6-foot husband shrinking into his clothes. "This is better than Dr. Atkin's Quick Weight Loss Diet," she tittered. "Shut up and do something to help me," Leo growling in increasingly higher tones. After reaching the age of 16 months, Leo was lifted from his clothes and placed on the bed by Stella. "You has such a cute little bum-bum," Stella grinned as she began to affix a diaper to her reduced husband. "Shut up! And why did you get me diapers with such a sissy pattern?" Leo snarled. "Oh, you're cute enough to kiss," Stella cooed. "Shut up and drive me to the bank," Leo sneered.
As Leo planned, he was now small enough to fit into the outside vent and navigate the ducting inside the bank. He pulled a box of plastic garbage bags behind him to hold his expected take. A lock pick was hidden in the folds of his diaper. But as Leo landed in the deposit box vault, he found himself blinded by three flashlights. "You're under arrest, Grubbs," one of three policemen ordered. "Put your hands up and lean against the wall," another demanded. In utter shock, Leo complied. One cop patted Leo down, spending much time checking the seat of his diaper. "Nothing in there," Leo protested. "Better not be, Stinky," the cop replied.
Taken to the police station, Leo was deposited in a playpen next to the desk sergeant, where he sat for more than four hours. Finally, the sergeant told him, "Hey, little boy. Your mother's come to take you home." It was Stella. Cradling Leo under his bottom with her arm and resting his head on her right shoulder, she carried Leo out the door. "I don't understand how the coppers found out about my plan," Leo grumbled. "I told them," Stella smiled. "What! You stupid broad! This was the plan of a lifetime. Aacch! Just take me home so I can drink the antidote," Leo yelled. "There isn't any. I poured it down the sink," Stella grinned. "But why?" Leo demanded. "Because you're so much cuter now," Stella cooed.
"Oh, shut up, you stupid broad," Leo grumbled. "No, you shut up, Leo," Stella sternly countered. "You know I always wanted a child, but you were always too busy planning robberies. Well, now I'm getting what I want for a change. And if you continue to talk to me like that, I'll put you across my lap and paddle your little bum-bum until it sizzles," she added. "Aw, shut up," were Leo's last words before he received the promised spanking in abundance!
During the four days before his adult intelligence evaporated,
Leo meekly submitted to Stella's regimen of feedings, naps, baths
and diaper changes. He was not about to raise his new mother's
wrath. He even put up with be rocked to sleep twice daily in Stella's
lap while she fed him his bottle and sang lullabies. The songs
usually concluded with a reminder, "Mommy's going to raise
you this time to be something better than a thief like a
tax attorney."