I've Got A Secret
by Douglas Greene
I have a confession. I know that Gerald hates what he's become, but when I hold him like this, and can feel his tiny heart beating against my chest, I have to admit I'm happy that my husband contracted the AR virus.
I suspect he knows that I'm pleased he ended up so tiny, even though I never put those feelings into words. I give myself away when I smile as I bathe him, or when I give his naked little buns a squeeze on the way back to the changing table. I simply can't help myself; he's just so perfect in every way.
It might not have turned out this good, older AR virus victim can be quite demanding. The possibility of being at the beck-and-call of a mouthy toddler worried me, but as you can see, it didn't turn out that way. My little man is no problem at all.
When Gerald lost his ability to speak, I'd communicate with him by asking him yes and no questions; he'd blink once for yes, and twice for no. That got to be too tedious, so we don't do that much anymore. Since his needs are so simple, he's able to make them known quite easily. Unless he's being willful, and that doesn't happen much any more, I can usually tell when he needs his diaper changed or if he's uncomfortable.
Warm and moist from his bath, I put Gerald on the changing table. "I'm going to take you into the office today honey. I'm sure your old friends want to know how you're doing." Suddenly he started blinking in sets of two; he looks so cute.
I knew that this is one outing he'd prefer to sit out on, but I'm going to insist. He can't spend his life hiding behind closed doors. He needs to face reality and make the best of things. I suppose that's easy for me to say. I'm not the one who is 23 inches long.
"Now Gerald, don't be that way. Jenny called yesterday and wanted to know why I hadn't brought you by. What am I supposed to tell her?" I sprinkled dust on his tiny penis, gently kneading the powder into his little scrotum. "There's no reason to be shy; you're not the only person with AR." Just months ago Jenny was my husband's assistant. For baby Gerald, squirming naked on his back in front of me, Jenny must seem like someone he knew in another life.
Lifting him by his feet, I slide the cotton diaper under his bottom. Within seconds I have it pinned and I'm sliding blue plastic panties up over his legs. I marvel at how efficient I've gotten at this procedure, and smile when I think back on my first clumsy efforts.
Gerald continued blinking. At first I pretended not to notice. Gradually his face contorted, and he balled his hands up into little pink fists, throwing them into the air with each set of blinks. I shouldn't have laughed, but I couldn't help myself. It was just too funny. Finally I placed my hands over his eyes, gently touching his eyes with my fingertips. Gerald sputtered and tried to push my hand away. I kept my hand over his face just long enough to remind him who was in charge. His entire body flushed red with anger.
"Enough already! We're going to the office. Just deal with it!"
I remember feeling jealous that Gerald and Jenny spent so much time together. The fact that that Jenny was so young and attractive did not help matters. That was months ago. Gerald was mine now and I didn't have to share him with anyone.
I dressed my little guy in a light yellow onesie. I couldn't
wait to
show him off. Today was going to be so much fun!