Zita Rath was used to getting what she wanted when she was the
swimsuit model most in demand by magazines and merchandisers.
But that was years ago. Now in her late-30s, her fortunes had
diminished, but not her vanity and selfishness. She still made
demands, but when she didn't get them, she took her frustrations
out on her husband and agent Kelby. With each new rejection of
her services, Zita would throw things at Kelby if she could
not hit or kick him personally.
But Kelby knew he couldn't get her a swimsuit-modeling job as frequently as the now-mature Zita did more than a decade ago unless she could become the age she was then. But that, he thought, was impossible.
"Nothing's impossible," a round-faced, almost elfin man told Kelby. "I read your mind. You need a youth treatment for your wife. I have it. The fizz tablets in this jar. Drop one in a bathtub full of water and have your wife sit in it in her swimsuit. The waters will take the years off, and shrink the swimsuit to closely adhere to the contours of her new figure," the man said.
Kelby called the swimsuit editor of Big Sports and promised he'd see Zita Rath back in her prime, looking just as she did when her curvaceous body graced eight magazines in one month 14 years ago. He then gave the tablets to Zita, telling her what they'd do, and how to use them.
With the Big Sports editor due soon, Zita filled her bathtub with water and dropped in a tablet no, two tablets. Zita didn't want to look as good as she did in her prime she wanted to look better!
Kelby gave the Big Sports editor a huge buildup for the "new, improved Zita." But when he called for Zita to join them on the patio, out came a 9-year-old girl wearing a two-piece swimsuit.
"This is a gag?" the editor said as he zipped out the door. Angry again, Zita flung an ashtray at Kelby, then began to kick his shins. "You stupid moron. You're the world's worst agent. You're fired. And I want a divorce," the smaller Zita yelled. But then it dawned on Kelby he didn't have to take it any more.
Lifting Zita off the ground, Kelby threw her across his knees and gave her the spanking she had long deserved. Let go, Zita sat on the floor, tears on her cheeks. She pleaded, "But I only wanted a gig."
"I'll get you one," Kelby said as he dialed the telephone.
Kelby talked quite a bit, although not loud enough for Zita to
make out what he was saying. Hanging up, Kelby announced, "I
got you a gig!" Zita smiled, "Where is it?" Kelby
grinned back, "I think you call it the fourth grade."