Crime and Punishment

By Douglas Greene

It certainly wasn't your average press conference.

The photographers snapped away, taking pictures of the first two criminals sentenced to permanent age regression.

"This is Leonard Wilcox, inmate 53214," the warden said proudly, pointing down to one of the tiny naked figures squirming on the floor. "Leonard here was convicted of rape. As you can see, he is unlikely to be a repeat offender." The warden looked up and grinned broadly when his comment initiated a loud round of laughter.

Moving on, he stood over the second baby. "This is inmate 48544, Robert Crowley." The infant strained to look up at the warden as his name was mentioned. "Mr. Crowley was convicted last year of assault with a deadly weapon. Specifically, he robbed convenience stores with a gun, severely beating female employees on every occasion."

"That isn't true," the infant squeaked.

One television newswoman close enough to hear the comment quickly approached the baby. Kneeling, she held the microphone close. "So, Mr. Crowley, can you tell our viewers what you think of this new form of sentencing?"

"Fuck you, bitch," the baby hissed.

The newswoman pulled back and hesitated, then raised her hand a foot or two above Mr. Crowley's pink, round bottom. She looked up at the warden, as if seeking his approval and seemed surprised when the warden grinned sheepishly and shrugged; she'd only been mugging for the cameras and didn't expect to actually be given permission to administer corporal punishment.

The spanking was more symbolic than painful. As she playfully swatted his little buns with her open palm, the cameras caught every second of the action. Inmates 53214 and 48544 buried their little faces in the blanket on which they lay, and started crying.

The crime rate dropped dramatically after that picture was broadcast. It would seem that the justice system had finally found an effective deterrent to crime.



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