News that Acme Corp. would layoff 50 employees at its distribution warehouses traveled fast, and Human Resources Vice President Agnes Akina soon faced a delegation from the union representing the facilities' workers.

"We have to reduce staff to maintain profitability," Agnes argued. "Bunk! Acme has posted increased profits in every of the last 10 years. What we understand is that this downsizing is being made only because executives -- you included -- will not get their bonuses unless this year's profits exceed last year's by a certain percentage. And we understand it was you who proposed the layoff for that purpose," argued shop steward Tom. "So? This is an 'employment-at-will' state, so we can do what we want. Besides, the term isn't downsizing now. It's rightsizing," Agnes grinned. Tom shook his head. "Then I think you need to hear from Esmerelda," he said.

To the front of the delegation walked Esmerelda, a very sexy looking dockworker; a lumper with her lumps in all the right places and proportions. She didn't say a word, but only cupped her hands, in which a whirling golden ball of energy formed. She threw the ball at Agnes, and when the smoke cleared, Agnes was no longer a 40-year-old executive in a dark blue power suit, but a 2-year-old in a pink shorts set. Worse, the lumpy, crinkly attire she felt under her shorts made her conclude she was no longer wearing lace bikini briefs.

"What did you do?" Agnes protested as she craned to see over her desk. "Consider yourself rightsized. And for anyone who would toss people out of their means to support their families to protect their bonus on top of their already large salary, you are now certainly the right size," Tom grinned.

One worker stuffed Agnes in a stroller that Acme manufactures. The delegation then rolled her to the executive suite where, after viewing the new Agnes, the executives took all of 30 seconds to cancel the layoff. And then the question came up: What to do with Agnes. A computer tech said she thought Agnes was now cute and offered to take her home to re-raise -- better this time, she said. But from the trip to her new home, Agnes was one cranky baby, as she constantly mulled in her head, "Next time, I want a clause in the job application forms, 'Are you, or have you ever been, a practicing sorceress?'"


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