My name is Xandra, and I had a problem. My mother-in-law Regina was always nagging me why I and my husband and her son Toby haven't given her grandchildren. Since we were married 10 years, we had more than enough time, she said. Besides, all her other kids had already made her a grandmother nine times over. Regina wouldn't take "bug off" for an answer, and Toby would back down as soon as she raised her voice.

To placate Regina, Toby and I did everything we could to have a baby, from timing our attempts to conceive to certain days of the month, to Toby switching to boxer-shorts underwear. We even incurred great expense going to fertility clinics. Nothing worked, and Regina wouldn't let up. I suffered headaches and ulcers as a result.

Then somebody handed me a book of ancient home remedies. I especially liked the chapter explaining how to produce a baby. It was different, and so simple. I won't go into details, but it involves a Ukrainian herb, sauna-like temperatures, and participation of a person nobody would miss.

And last week, I presented Toby with his new baby daughter. He was ecstatic, especially since I named the girl Regina for his mother. But Toby is perturbed that after all the pressure, his Mom hasn't come to see the baby. He thinks she finally moved to that retirement village in Florida, and forgot to leave her new address and phone number; and may have lost our number. But I know she knows. Isn't that right, Regina? What? Must be the taste of that nasty herb coming back. I'll get your bottle, you little cutie.

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