Yarn by Ruth Anne Culpepper (age 29), recorded on October 26, 2000.

"You don't believe in haunted houses? My business partner Big Sarah and I know better. We had acquired an old home to convert into a site for our boutique. But a rival real estate agent warned us that the ghost of Mad Gregor haunted the building. Gregor lived 100 years ago and hated women. He lured several dozen to this very building, and all of them vanished without a trace; although the agent noted that Gregor owned a sausage factory.

"The agent further noted that as a ghost, Gregor retained his limp, so you hear him coming by the sound ka-plop, ka-plop, ka-plop. And he continues to carry his meat hook, which scrapes against things as his ghost moves: sca-ritch, sca-ritch, sca-ritch. And the agent warned never to look at the ghost, as being evil in life, his ectoplasm is unstable and morphs into hideous shapes. People who have glanced at Gregor have been scared out of 20 years growth.

"I turned to Big Sara. 'Maybe we shouldn't visit the house tonight,' I said. 'Bah! Fairy tales! You can't keep me away from that house tonight. I never get rattled,' Big Sarah replied. So we entered the house after sunset. While I looked for the main power box to activate the lights, Big Sarah quickly moved into the house, her path illuminated by a flashlight.

"And then it happened. Big Sarah heard a moan. She tried to ignore it. Then the sounds ka-plop, ka-plop, ka-plop. It was joined by an occasional other noise sca-ritch, sca-ritch. Then Big Sarah felt a hand on her shoulder, and heard a man's voice: "Do you want to become frankfurters or keilbasa?" I heard Big Sarah's scream but when I arrived, I didn't see her; only her clothes in a pile on the floor. She had vanished!

"So what happened to Big Sarah? I found that baby in the photo under her clothing. If it is her, I guess they'll have to change local lore in that people encountering Gregor's ghost can be scared out of 29 years, 7 months and 13 days growth. And check her hands. I hate to think that despite what Big Sarah said before entering the house, she did end up getting rattled."



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