Monologue by Rick Brooks (was age 26, now 6 months), recorded September 30, 2000:

"This so far hasn't been the best birthday I ever celebrated. Today I turn 26, but due to my drinking from the wrong thermos at work, I now look like a 6-month-old infant. Who leaves experimental youth serum in a lunchroom refrigerator? Now I even have to wear a diaper. Cheeeeez!

"At least the guys at Teddy's Tavern are understanding. They brought me here for a birthday celebration, just as if I was my old self. And Whooo Weeeee! Look what walked in the door! A real sexy blonde. And she's dressed like a nurse. They got me a Strip-O-Gram! Wowowowow! Come here, honey! She is! Wow! It's amazing. She's unbuttoning her blouse, one button at a time, exposing a real lacy bra! So sexy! Yowee! Take it off, honey! All of it! Yeah!

"Now the bra! She's fiddling with something on the front of the bra! Let's go, baby! Hey, she's only pulling down one cup. What gives? And now she's moving toward me. Lifting me off the bar. Oooooo! Cuddling me close to her body. Wooowee! Hahahaha! Hey, what's going on here? You jerks! You (censored) bastards! This isn't a Strip-O-Gram. You stinkin' jerks got me a wet nurse. Stop it! Stop all that laughing! Stop! You act like you can't understand what I'm saying. Like I'm really babbling like an infant. Get away from me, nurse. Lemme go! Get that... (Mmmmnnnfffff! Glug!).

Click here to go back to previous page