Monologue by Commander Laura Sterling (was age 37, now newborn), recorded February 29, 2016:

"Since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be an astronaut. I achieved my dream, and was thrilled when I was chosen to be the first astronaut to fly faster than the speed of light and to visit the Alpha Centuri star system. As I trained, NASA officials said the trip would be short in terms of time, as I would travel at up to three times the speed of light, cutting my stay in the capsule to just five months. And, one officer said, I might help the scientific community refine its understanding of Einstein's theory of the space/time continuum.

"On the day of the flight, I was strapped into the small spacecraft. I felt uncomfortable in my spacesuit. But I had to stay in one place lest I lose contact with the feeding tubes delivering a high nutrition liquid diet, and other tubes to remove my waste products. Yet half way to the star, the suit began to feel more comfortable. First, I could wiggle my toes, then move around my legs. Probably due to the loss of bone mass that most astronauts experience on long flights through the void of space, I thought.

"Five months later, back on Earth, I felt giddy on hearing NASA personnel liberate me from the craft, and ultimately my now extremely comfortable spacesuit. 'How did you find Alpha Centuri?' one man asked. But as the helmet visor was removed and I peered out, all I could muster was the word, 'pwetty.' I stared back at the surprised faces of the crewmen. What was wrong? And why couldn't I communicate clearly with them?

"I am now recuperating from my flight at Johns Hopkins Medical Center. I rest in a glass-sided bed. For some reason, they dress me only in thick, bulky panties held together by tape. I am still fed a high-nutrition liquid diet as on the craft, only through some malleable orifice. And they keep me in a brightly-lit room surrounded by babies. I don't understand any of this, especially that huge nurse, who keeps asking me if I want to be an astronaut when I grow up!"



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