Monologue by Tina Kruerk (age 10), recorded January 28, 2002:

"To say there is a double standard in my family is an understatement! Every time I misbehave or break a rule, even if the report is false, I get punished (often with a spanking) by my Dad. Yet he holds himself to a lesser standard. He exhibits temper and stops at nothing to get even, a holdover from his childhood when he made Dennis the Menace look like a saint by comparison, according to Grandma. He's also cheated friends and relatives, even steals from his employer. Most recently, he brought home a prototype youth serum and antidote, which he brags he'll sell for big money to a business rival.

"Just yesterday, he was ready to spank me again when I protested that the school lied about what I was accused of doing. I knew the school was misusing its funds, that if word leaked out a lot of officials would be fired and go to jail, and that the accusation against me was to discredit me. I could see the wheels turning in Dad's head, like he was looking for an angle to profit from this. So I then suggested that if he was my age, he could slip into the school as a student, and see for himself. The spanking was postponed as Dad pondered what I said. He then responded, 'I can do it!'

"Dad got the prototype serum, measured out a dose, and swallowed it! He showed me where he hid the serum and antidote, just in case he needed help from me.

"The next morning, Dad came to the breakfast table a 10-year-old boy, wearing only his now oversize pajama top. The sleeves kept rolling over he hands as he attempted to eat. Even Mom had to giggle at this sight. 'Now drink your milk, Bobby,' Mom laughed. 'Do I have to?' Dad whined in reply.

"After borrowing some boy's clothing from a neighbor, Dad was off to school with me. He tried to blend in, taking a spare desk in the back of my fifth grade class, waiting for an opportunity to get away and snoop. That occurred after he missed an arithmetic question and, unable to produce his textbook for the answer, was ordered to get it from his locker. I didn't see Dad the rest of the day. In fact, I got home before he did.

"Mom told me she just got a call from the school. 'Bobby' had been caught going through the principal's desk. To get away, he kicked and bit the principal, and kicked the secretary before being subdued. He protested that he wasn't really a kid, but in checking the files, the principal found his written permission for the school to punish his children. They assumed he was he own son, and the school disciplinarian was called to administer five swats with a paddle. But 'Bobby' kicked the disciplinarian and ran out of the school. The disciplinarian was now on his way to the house to administer 10 swats (his penalty had been doubled), which I knew Mom wouldn't let him do.

"But Dad didn't realize that. He had climbed in through a window of an unused downstairs bedroom. 'Quick! Get me the antidote!' Dad yelled at me. I brought him a bottle and he guzzled it quickly.

"The disciplinarian arrived at the door and asked to see my parents and my school-age brother. I looked puzzled at him. 'I only have one brother, and that's his room,' I said, pointing to the spare bedroom. The disciplinarian looked into the room, and saw only a crib, in which a baby boy was sleeping. 'Ssshh! Don't wake the baby,' I said. So the disciplinarian apologized about making a mistake and left.

"Actually, I should have said, 'Ssshh! Don't wake Daddy.' I didn't bring him the antidote, just more of the youth serum. And because he greedily drank so much so fast, its effect was immediate, giving me time to slip him into some appropriate clothing and deposit him in the crib left over from my own earlier childhood. As the serum also causes slumber, Dad won't be aware of what happened until he awakes in a few hours. But that should be fun when it occurs.

"All in all, my little plot worked better than I expected. And there won't be any restoration of Dad. It seems Mom found the hiding place in the closet, but because the antidote bottle wasn't labeled, she mistook it for something else, and is now using it to clean the windows. All in all, a perfect outcome. Dad won't be cheating anyone any more, nor stealing, nor throwing fits of temper at a size where it matters. Nor will I receive any more spankings from him. I am totally against the spanking of children! Unless Dad grows into a brat again. Then I might reconsider."


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