Lucinda noticed the baby boy whimpering again in his crib, so she quickly transferred him to the changing table. A quick inspection confirmed that he was wet ­ no fully soaked ­ once more. So she began to unfasten the tapes holding the diaper in place.

"No! No! No!" the baby cried. "Look, Kevin, I hate having to change you as much as you hate wearing diapers. But until you're old enough to control your functions, we'll both have to put up with this," Lucinda said. "Besides, it's your own fault," she added.

"Nobody forced you to celebrate winning that softball game by drinking yourself blotto at that tavern. Nor did anyone insist you drive home drunk, at 65 mph down the off ramp of the highway, where you ended up crashing head first into that 18-wheeler. Your body was so banged up that you might have died had the doctors not quickly transferred your still-functioning brain into another body. Too bad the only functioning-but-brain-dead body available was that of a 4-month-old infant," Lucinda noted.

"Considering the alternative, you should be happy," she said, adding, "So stop whining like a baby. I only hope you remember this lesson 20 years from now!"


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