Babblings by Marybeth Quinch (was age 56, now 6 months), recorded March 11, 2001:

"Although I had been a top research scientist at Adama Labs for over 30 years, my days were numbered. Management recently hired a new lab supervisor, the 29-year-old Ramona, and she was intent on sweeping out the 'deadwood,' as she called it. But she meant older employees.

"I was told that unless I devised some sort of marketable product soon, I'd be terminated. So I threw all of my efforts into a project I'd secretly worked on for 25 years ­ a Fountain of Youth serum. And soon, tests on lab animals indicated I'd succeeded. 'This will enshrine me in the Inventors Hall of Fame,' I giggled. But how to show it to Ramona; in effect rub her nose in her doubting my ability. I took a dose of my serum. Won't she be surprised when I turn up as young as her; maybe young enough to declare her as 'deadwood'?

"As I walked to Ramona's office, I could feel the serum working. I kicked off my suddenly loose shoes. I doffed my lab coat, which was getting roomy. I started losing other articles of clothing, but I was so giddy at showing up Ramona, I didn't pay attention. Finally, I walked up to Ramona, tugged on her pants suit leg, and proudly announced, 'Gheeeh glurg bwaaaah!' That didn't sound like 'Eureka!' I thought. Ramona, whose face seemed miles above me, stared down with a distressed look and said, 'What's this baby doing in my office? Whose is it?' And finally, 'Get this naked brat out of my office before she soils my carpet.'

"I didn't make it to the Inventor's Hall of Fame, but Ramona did have me entered into the Mother of Mercy Home. And if you're interested in adopting a sweet and cute baby girl who won't keep you up nights, drop on by, y'hear!"




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