Monologue by "Anonymous" (was age 22, now age 7), recorded August 1, 2001:

"Frankly, I could no longer stand my parents. They were after me my whole childhood, pressuring me to excel to the point of exhaustion, and generally controlling my life. I couldn't wait to get away from them, so when I graduated college, I took a job in a distant city where I hoped for a little peace and satisfaction in tasks of my own choosing.

"But no such luck. The job proved to be stultifying dull. Worse, my manager was always on my case, trying to force me to date him, and otherwise sexually harassing me. I was still miserable, and I'd had enough! And then I was offered an unusual means of exit.

"I received a brochure for AR Escapes, which promised I could have fun like I was a kid again at their secluded resort. What interested me was that they actually could turn me into a kid for the duration, so I couldn't be recognized and taken back to the real world. I took the offer, and on arriving at the resort, I was walked through a changing room and emerged a 7-year-old girl, and was issued a full locker of appropriate clothing. From my assigned bunkhouse I and the other "kids" enjoy camping, swimming, horseback riding, and all the other stuff I missed during my actual childhood. I was at last totally happy!

"Only TV and the newspapers intrude on this paradise. I see where my disappearance is considered big news. Nobody knows if I'm still alive or not. But then I see my parents using a PR agency to try to destroy, if not pin a murder rap, on that lecherous manager. And he is fighting back, revealing my parents' closet skeletons. Things are getting ugly.

"Which is why I've decided to extend my stay at the AR Escapes resort. I understand they have ice-skating and a great sled run in winter. And if after then, my parents and the manager have not yet destroyed each other, I'll make my disappearance permanent by putting myself up for adoption. That will serve everybody right ­ especially me!"


Click here to go back to previous page