Monologue by Matilda Lampwick (was age 42, now age 4), recorded August 2, 2001:

"All careers come to an end, even for industrial spies. If only my exit wasn't so ignominious! It seemed like such an easy job. Prof. Peter R. Peters had reportedly devised a lotion that made skin look younger when applied directly to the body. And he was working on it, not at a corporate research facility, but in a laboratory set up in the attic of his home. This would be duck soup, I thought.

"Working with my lookout/control Ted, I broke into the Peters home and quickly found what I wanted in the attic lab. But I accidentally tipped over a large beaker, whose syrup-like fluid covered my arms. It was the skin-rejuvenating lotion, but I proved more powerful than anyone expected. My arms got very warm, and my whole body began to contract. I ran to a bathroom to wash it off. To my shock, I found the lotion had reduced me to a 4-year-old girl. It apparently did more than just make skin younger. Worse, I left a trail of my now oversize clothing from the lab.

"I radioed Ted, who suggested that since Peters had a 7-year-old daughter, there might still be some clothing my new size present, to save me from having to work naked. But I was only able to find a ratty old girl's swimsuit, whose bikini bottom was still a tad too large.

"As I prepared to finally remove some of the lotion from the lab, Ted radioed to warn that Peters and his family had arrived home. Asking for advice on how to get out of the home, Ted suggested on becoming younger, I had the perfect disguise. All I had to do was play little lost girl while leaning against a table in the living room. So I did.

"I didn't fool anyone. 'We have an industrial spy here, who stupidly tipped some of my prototype lotion on herself," Peters gleefully stated. So instead of an escape, I first got a spanking, then placement in the custody of the Department of Family Services. The only way I can get out of their facility is if somebody accepts me as a foster child. I radioed Ted one more time, but he said his wife would frown if he brought home a preschooler who already had a criminal record."


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