Breaking the Record

by PixChick


Feeling that they needed to do something important to be remembered by future students at the college, the men of Kappa Theta Xi fraternity decided that they would break a record set by their brothers in 1958. In that year, 15 members of the fraternity stuffed themselves in a telephone booth. The current brothers wanted to beat that record, except that there no longer were any telephone booths in town.


"Hey, there's a glass booth in the medical research lab in the Science Building. It has the same dimensions as a telephone booth. We can set the record in that booth," said frat member Slim Barker. The other men agreed and were soon standing before the booth in the lab.


One by one, the frat boys squeezed into the small enclosure, with some perched atop other brothers for a better fit. As the last man pushed his way in, the booth's door slammed shut. "We'll suffocate in here! Help!" the lads cried, finally getting the attention of the janitor. "Get us out," several frat boys pleaded. The janitor thought a minute, then said, "I think this lever activates the door." Instead, a combination of growling and humming noises filled the booth, which began to shake. The janitor scrammed.


Two hours later, lab chief Dr. Kwerty arrived, still in his pajamas. "You say somebody fooled with our experimental machine, the one that in low-dose tests removes wrinkles from old lab rats? And this graph indicates that the dose delivered was 1,000 times what we exposed the rats to. Find anything suspicious?" Dr. Kwerty asked the security people. "Just these babies. There were 17 of them in the booth," one officer said. "That has to be some sort of a record," Dr. Kwerty said.


"They were naked when we found them. A female officer put them in diapers and gave them their bottles. And they show no ill effects of being in the machine when it was operating. In fact, they seem to be having a good time now," the officer added. Indeed, the babies did appear to be partying, attempting to sing while waving their bottles of milk or juice. "They look like frat boys at a kegger," Dr. Kwerty smiled, before he placed a call to social services.

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