Rant by Lillian Tracey (age 16), recorded June 11, 2001:

"Although my twin sister Jillian and I are practically identical, most people don't see it that way. I'm considered the Smart Twin; Jillian the Pretty Twin. And while I do get better grades, Jillian gets all the dates, mostly by playing off the fact that because I'm considered smart, I must be weird or spooky or something. But I know that boys would find me just as cute if they thought I was Jillian. And I proved it.

"In some dusty old book at the downtown library, I found the recipe for a rejuvenation potion. I mixed up some in school lab, and then put some in bottles of Jillian's favorite soda. She couldn't tell the difference. The potion tastes just like root beer. With each bottle Jillian drank, she lost three years of aging.

"Four bottles later, Jillian's current boyfriend Mark came calling. I greeted him at the door as Jillian. We got along so well, we were soon kissing each other passionately. It might have gone further had Jillian not appeared. Now a 4-year-old, she ran up to us, yelling that Mark was her boyfriend. Bounding into Mark's lap, she even started hugging him, to his embarrassment. 'Miserable little sister,' I told Mark as I dragged Jillian away.

"Mark will return tomorrow, so I'm planning ahead. I'm giving Jillian one last bottle of root beer (I mean potion). She will not interrupt us, because Jillian will be a 1-year-old by then, and hopefully asleep in her crib. You know, sometimes it pays to be the Smart Twin."

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