Ad proof for Summer 2000 issue of The Sorcerer's
Quarterly
Submitted to: Watkin's Products Inc., 13 Witch Way, Salem, MA
01970.
Leora Welch, 9, of Baltimore was a nervous wreck ever since her stepfather Roger moved in. Roger structured her entire life by the clock, dictating the hours when she'd study, perform chores and even sleep. He left little time for play, and punished her severely for every minor deviation. Leora was beside herself. So she bought some Watkin's Tonic. One bottle later, Leora (right) is able to return the favor to Roger (left), setting for him a schedule that includes baths, feedings, plenty of naps, a 7 p.m. bedtime, and even a little playtime under her watchful eye; but also punishment for every outburst of rebelliousness. Leora is no longer nervous and now happily looks forward to each new day thanks to Watkin's Age-Reducing Tonic. A 12-oz. bottle costs $19.95 at mysteriously hidden shops in malls everywhere.