A reporter from People magazine assigned to interview Oscar Ryder, the first man to receive an experimental youth treatment, was pleasantly surprised to find his subject a cute 20-month old baby who was energetically shaking his booty. "Nice steps! You imitating the dancing baby on Ally McBeal?" the reporter asked. "Not really," Oscar replied.
"So tell me. Why did you volunteer for rejuvenation?" the reporter asked. "To get some fun out of life. As an adult, I had nothing but responsibilities, to my wife, my full-time and part-time jobs. A real bummer all around," Oscar answered.
"But why choose to become a baby?" the reporter queried. "For maximum escape," Oscar said. "If I chose to become a teenager, my wife would probably send me to school and force me to take an after-school job. As a boy, she'll still force to me take a paper route and load me up on household chores. But as a baby, I don't have to do anything for anyone. Everyone does everything for me.
"Right now, I don't have to lift a finger to do anything," Oscar added. "My wife dresses me, bathes me, tucks me in at night. She moves the spoon for me at dinnertime and bottle-feeds me in her lap six times a day. If I ever need anything like a diaper change (talk about saving time) I just have to cry. This is nirvana.
"Of course, since I'm way too young to work, my wife now holds two jobs," Oscar grinned. "To fill my needs while she's gone, she hired a babysitter; a cute blonde, blue-eyed 19-year-old girl. And I've already got her trained. To get me to do anything, she has to kiss me."
"You haven't stopped dancing since I arrived. You must really be happy as a baby," the reporter noted. "Not exactly," Oscar said. "Ever since the day my wife came home unexpectedly and caught me kissing the babysitter, she's become absent-minded. She keeps mistaking the Mentholated Deep Heating Rub for my anti-diaper-rash cream."