Sylvia Alden grew up with a father who was an enthusiast of the Sport of Kings. Her Dad avidly read all publications related to horse racing and was extremely knowledgeable about the owners, trainers, jockeys, tracks and even the top horses. Yet he never bet on a race. "Sylvia," he always said, "People don't get rich wagering on horses; they get rich by owning the steed that wins the Kentucky Derby." His dream was to one day own a winning racehorse.
Sylvia's father never realized his goal, but Sylvia saw her opportunity. Being 5 ft. 6 in. and weighing 210 lb., she was approached be researchers at a top university to try out a highly experimental quick weight loss treatment. As there could be unforeseen serious side effects, they offered to pay Sylvia a large sum of money for her participation. But she turned that down, asking that the contract stipulate that when the experiment was over, the university would buy her a horse of her own choosing. They readily agreed.
After also stipulating Nancy Newman, the woman with whom she shared her apartment, be the person to contact should the experiment go amiss; Sylvia submitted to the treatment. She chuckled at what fools the scientists were. They agreed to buy any horse she named, and she would ask for 2000 Kentucky Derby winner Fusaichi Pegasus. She would live well for the rest of her life on the horse's stud fees.
Doctors Kerwin and Zatz, who headed the experiment, were excited at the progress made by Day 3. Sylvia was rapidly losing weight. By Day 5, they thought they detected that Sylvia also was losing bone mass. This was confirmed by Day 9, as Sylvia's bones were noticeably contracting as if in reverse growth. Could a side effect of the treatment be rejuvenation? The doctors decided to find out.
By Day 14, Sylvia, who had been 31, was now no bigger than a 15-year-old was. More interesting, she seemed to now be acting more like a teenager than an adult. The doctors decided to experiment further.
On Day 30, Nancy received a phone call from the doctors, who reported that the experiment was over and a complete success. Would she please come and pick up Sylvia. But on her arrival, Dr. Zatz informed her that she would take home not only Sylvia, but also her horse. Nancy knew about the bargain Sylvia made and protested, "I only have a Honda Accord. I have no room for a horse." But Dr. Kerwin assured her that the horse would easily fit in the car's truck.
"How is that so?" Nancy asked. "Come see," the doctors said. They led her to a back patio where Nancy saw a 2-year-old girl wearing only a diaper rocking back and forth on a hobbyhorse. "Hi, Nancy. Me finally got horsie," baby Sylvia waved. "And she picked it out herself from the Old Yankee Traditional Wood Craft catalog," Dr. Zatz added.
"But she's not my daughter. I can't take her home,"
Nancy protested. "But she named you in the contract as the
person to contact in case of problems. That legally makes you
her guardian. If you don't take her, we'll have you arrested for
child abandonment," Dr. Kerwin said. "But I haven't
the resources to raise a child," Nancy complained. "No
problem. Take this envelope," Dr. Zatz said. It was full
of cents-off coupon for disposable diapers, formula, baby food
and clothing collected by the university staff. "Oooooo!"
Nancy thought. "They're having a horse laugh at my expense."