My name is Nick Rankor. I'm a private investigator, and I thought I had a great idea to boost my business. They have a new reality program on UPN called "Cheating Spouses." It shows videos taken of people while they are enjoying the company of others with whom they are neither married nor engaged. And they are supplied by the investigators hired to tail the unfaithful ­ like me. I get the tape on TV, they interview me on the show, and people flock to my business, thinking Rankor will get them the goods too!

So I bought myself an expensive new camcorder for my current job. Sylvia Hotchkiss suspects her husband Harry, a stage magician, is making whoopee on the side with his female assistant. It doesn't take me long to trail them to their love nest. I have my postpaid mail container ready to ship a copy of the hot stuff I capture to the show's producers. I sneak in, and I catch the two in the clinch. They react surprised ­ heh heh heh!

But then I get a surprise! It seems Harry and his assistant Zelda know more than just stage magic. After they arch their fingers at me, I began to shrink into my clothes. Correction, I am getting younger. I'm turning into a little boy. Correction, a baby boy. All my clothes have fallen off. They are clumped around my feet. I grin in embarrassment, as Zelda digs in a drawer.

"My sister left these behind when she visited with her baby daughter," Zelda giggled. Harry grabs me, and before I know it, I am in a Pampers and wearing the baby girl's outfit. Zelda then hands Harry a baby bottle. At least she warmed the milk, as Harry is giving me no option concerning consumption. And I see Zelda using my camcorder to record everything. (Groan!!)

I hope Zelda didn't find the postpaid envelope, because if you're watching this scene on UPN ­ well, my investigations business may never recover.



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