My New Year's Resolutions

I promise to give up drinking alcohol.
I promise to give up smoking.
I promise to stop chasing after other women.
I promise to give my wife a baby.

When my wife made me signed my New Years Resolution I didn't know then how far she would go to make keep them.
I soon found out
on New Years Day, after coming home very late last night falling down drunk, smelling of cheap cigars, and of the perfume of the woman I had taken to bed for a quickie.

As you can see.
I can no longer drink alcohol, only breast milk.
I can no longer smoke, cause I am too small to hold a cigarette.
I can longer chase women. for two reasons. I am not old enough to even crawl yet, and I am a baby girl.
I did give my wife a baby. Me


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